If Tumblr was a sky, this is what it would look like.
I love how this Disneyworld Peter Pan fandom has risen out of nowhere
My co-worker sent an email saying he would be late because he was trying to untie a squirrel tail knot. I asked for a picture, and he delivered.
This is the email he sent:I was pressed into squirrel rescue this morning on my way out. 5 young squirrels got tangled in Christmas lights in my neighbor’s yard. We got the lights off, but now their tails are one big knot, so I have to bring them into a rescue place to untie them, as I am unequipped to untie squirrel tail knots. I should be in this afternoon.
“as I am unequipped to untie squirrel tail knots.”
when my dad first met my mom he said that he felt like his stomach was doing backflips and he would try to sound so cool because she was so cool and he wanted her to think that he was cool too and he knew he was gonna marry her on the first date and she was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen
when my mom first met my dad she said, and i quote, “how the fuck do i get in his pants”
that sounds exhausting im sorry
they killed them after they stabbed them 666 times? how does that much stabbing not kill someone all on its own?
do you think any of them lost count?
“476, 477, 479… wait shit. steve, i think i fucked up. do i start over?”
what the hell is wrong with this website
Instead of doing all that work, couldn’t they have just killed three Russian teenagers and stabbed them each six times? That would be much easier.
Tumblr: where we criticize satan worshippers, not for killing people, but for the unnecessary amount of effort they put into doing it.
oH MY GOD NO MY DAD CAME IN TO ASK ME SOMETHING BUT HE SAW THIS AND GAVE ME A WEIRD LOOK AND QUICKLY LEFT AND NO DAD I’M NOT MASTURBATING TO BENEDICT OH MY GOD WHY THE HELL WOULD HE COME TO THAT CONCLUSION
I JUST TALKED TO MY DAD AND ACTUALLY HE THOUGHT I WAS USING THE TISSUES TO COVER MY HANDS AS I STROKED BENEDICT’S FACE SO I WOULDN’T DIRTY THE PICTURE
HOW IS THAT A PLAUSIBLE CONCLUSION TO HIM HOW
please god no
this was never meant to get notes
If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.
I love this thing its brilliant. Even if its your mother tongue, read it aloud anyway it’s worth it I promise.